The Rumor Mill

So by now most of you have heard or read the news, the Pickin' Porch is closing its day-to-day retail operation and I am dedicating myself to being a full-time guitar (and infrequent mandolin and ukulele), teacher.

If you follow my wife's blog, you've probably already got a chuckle out of what the dowtown Floyd rumor mill has been churning out about me and my "dog and pony show" endeavors.  The fact that the store closing is "official" and fully explained will probably not put an end to speculation, but here's the "straight scoop" on the most pernicious and outrageous canards!

Rumor #1:  The Pickin' Porch is bankrupt!

Truth:  I opened the store five years ago with a small business loan and my personal savings five years ago. The loans were paid off within 2 years. Although never as profitable as I would have liked, the store has operated in the black for several years.  I currently own every string, capo, instrument and book. Hopefully there will be far less of those items in my possession come May 2nd!

Rumor #2:  I am terminally ill!

Truth:  I've got bad news, we're all going to die!  Being born human is a terminal illness and there's no cure. To the best of my knowledge I'm no worse off than most of the rest of you!

Rumor #3:  I'm moving from Floyd County!

Truth:  You may wish! I'm sorry to report that I have no plans of leaving any time soon; but, hey, every man has his price -- make me an offer!

Rumor #4:  My wife is leaving me!

Truth:  In a few weeks Lisa Kae and I celebrate 20 years of marriage and while neither of us would ever try to pretend every moment has been pure bliss, we have never been more together!  I mean really, have you checked out the pool of available men in this county?  I'm no great catch, but let's face it, the prospects for "trading up" are slim-to-none!  As far as I am aware, Lisa plans on sticking with "the devil she knows!"

Rumor #5:  I am losing all of my students!

Truth:  Two years ago I taught about 25 half-hour lessons per week.  I currently teach almost 50. I love being a guitar teacher and am humbled by the number of folks who have entrusted me with their musical education.  You can hear all my students perform at our spring/summer recital on June 7th and 14th at the Jesse Peterman Library and count for yourself!

Rumor #6:  I'm closing the store because another music store is opening downtown.  

Truth:  While it is true that some self-proclaimed "players" in the downtown scene conspired, successfully I might add, to keep interested buyers from moving the Pickin' Porch downtown; I am not afraid of competing in the marketplace.  Simply put, I'm ending retail operations to simplify my life and focus on my family, our farm and my true vocation, teaching. Who knows, maybe I will finally learn to play the guitar myself with all my new-found "free time!"

I think that answers most of the fabrications that people have mentioned to me or have asked about. If you've heard one I've missed, feel free to share it with me.  I'm always ready for a goood laugh!